Dating after 35
I made a slide show of my affirmations, using pictures of everything from the type of body I want to have to piles of money to a clip of someone reading their credit rating to the new apartment I want to have. The money flows in and, like with most businesses, flows right back out.But it’s there and the amount deposited into my business account gets larger each month. Tell yourself that it will happen and it will happen.It’s very easy to become closed off, especially living in a big city. You’ll also have to throw away a lot of those silly criteria that we tend to apply to future mates. The fear of rejection is bad enough when contemplating your approach of just one woman. As much as you think that you can hide your frustration or disillusionment when you’re out, you can’t. Sometimes you just have to keep your mouth shut and listen. The first refers to people who, when they meet someone new, brag or challenge people instead of saying something truly of value and listening. If you pay close enough attention to what someone says then you’ll have plenty of things to ask. So many times I’ve met men that were really great and I dismissed them. Scared they would find out I wasn’t as together as they were. Scared that they would figure out who I really was. Being over 35 and living in Manhattan (or any other major metropolitan city) is tough.It comes out in off-the-cuff comments, facial expressions and the tone in your voice. Staying in a situation too long only to end up not getting/not being asked for a number or being rejected will only weaken your ego/self-esteem. Learn the difference between selling yourself and pimping yourself out. But if you’re listening just to recognize a buzzword that will allow you to go off on a tangent, expect that person to walk away pretty quickly. Voices that come in the form of feelings and reactions. I convinced myself that I wasn’t attracted to them but really I was just afraid. “They’re too anxious for a girlfriend.” Looking back, there was nothing wrong with them. Most women I encounter who are over 35 and single (and by single I mean “never married”) are single because they are completely unaware of the impression they make (anxious/self-righteous/negative/entitled) or because they are still sticking to that same laundry list of criteria that they wrote and laminated at 25. You’re competing with women younger, possibly thinner and probably making just as much money as you are and are equally successful. And by step up I mean do the work you need to do to compete. Would it be so bad to take a look at guys that maybe aren’t, at first glance, your “type?
I have never been interested in dating men much older than me (frankly I don’t have a single girlfriend, married or single, who is so inclined).
(Remember the other suggestion I made up thread – Learn when to walk away.) The more focus you put on what you are lacking, the more power you give to that idea and the more prevalent it becomes.